I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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