she woke up with a sticky ear
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
