I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
