he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
