kristin has been a bad kristin
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
