Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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