my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
