just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This is classic penis vs brain.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
