the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
