and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
