eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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