Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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