He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
