Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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