are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
