Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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