There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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