I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
