So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
