my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
