I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
