so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
