Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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