I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
