Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
