Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
