does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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