id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
