I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
