Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
