the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
