Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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