It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
