There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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