I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I AM VODKA MAN
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
