Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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