I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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