I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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