He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
