he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
