haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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