I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
