You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
