I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Four minutes until I can fart!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
