Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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