It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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