I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
