She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
