I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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