i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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