I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
