peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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