come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
