Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
