I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
